Cabbage – Tell Me Lies About Manchester lyrics

I’m Jon The Postman’s nephew
And Steven Hanley’s niece
And I’m a secret special agent
With the Levenshulme Police

Shaun Ryder is my cousin
Rowetta rubs my feet
And my dad built Abergaldie’s
The cat food was mine to eat

So stick my legs in Joe Bloggs flares
And tell me lies about Manchester
Oh tell me lies about Manchester

I once saw the Sex Pistols
At the Lesser Free Trade Hall
I don’t think much to the Gallagher songs
I could have wrote them all

I’ve had a pint with every person
Who’s ever played in The Fall
And I’ve had numerous trials for City
‘Cos I am mega on the ball

So fill my ears with a Haçienda classic
Stick my legs in Joe Bloggs Flares
And tell me lies about Manchester
Oh tell me lies about Manchester

John Henshaw is my role model
I’ve looked for Eric twice
And I give money to the homeless
Which I get back through bags of spice

I wrote the Manifesto
In Chetham’s with Karl Marx
And my bulldog has had a shih tzu, yeah
In every single park

So coat my eyes in Voodoo Rays
Fill my ears with a Haçienda classic
Stick my legs in Joe Bloggs flares
And tell me lies about Manchester
Oh tell me lies about Manchester

So I stop and click my fingers
When things are going well
I've been backstage at the Apollo
The tales that I could tell
I get the best designer clobber dead cheap at Cheetham Hill
The Piccadilly Rats are the ones who created the ecstasy pill

So fill my nose with Albanian whiff
Coat my eyes in Voodoo Rays
Fill my ears with a Hacienda classic
Stick my legs in Joe Bloggs flares and tell me lies about Manchester