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[Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the background]
"And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl."

[Girl:] "You wanted to ask me something?"
[Excited Southerner:] "Yes, I did. I - first of all I just wanted to say that you're --
Very pretty girl, and I, I -- hoo --
You'the -- we've known each other for so long now,
And-uh, it's about time that the two of us --
We're both getting older right now, and-uh, and I don't want to die alone, I --
Tell you that much -- hoo --
Getting ahead of myself --
Got ta slow down, hoo-hoo, concentrate on what I'm trying to get across
To you right now, hoo, I mean,
Whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-willing to be a house husband,
You don't have to qu-qu-qu-qu-quit your job there,
There, I'm, I'm, the-, I'm, I'm -- hoo, honeymoon in the Poconos, with the --
Hoo, woo hoo -- sex optional --
You don't have to do what you don't want to do, hoo hoo hoo hoo,
Someday you're going to love me, and that -- that's fi--
Til death do us part I,
We'll get the chocolate cake and the sunrise and the sunset --
No prenuptial agree --"
[Girl:] "Look, are you trying to ask me to marry you?
Because I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment."
[Excited Southerner:] "Coooooo."

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