Twisted Christmas Carols lyrics by Larry The Cable Guy - original song full text. Official Twisted Christmas Carols lyrics, 2020 version |
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Larry The Cable Guy – Twisted Christmas Carols lyrics
These are famous Christmas Carols I know it aint Christmas but I'm goin to do these Christmas carols these is good american patriotic christmas carols and god bless america and thanks for comin so:

Get a job you bum bum bum

Money don't grow on trees you bum bum bum.

Silent farts

Deadly farts

All was calm

Not fer long

Oh come on illegal foreigners

Come and get dem green cards

And learn some damn english

And den how to drive

I wish my mother-in-law get hit by a car

I wish my mother-in-law get hit by a car

I wish my mother-in-law get hit by a car

So I don't have to hear her


Blue balls

Blue balls

Its dollar night at the titty club

See them dance, on my pants

Soon it will be bathroom time

You better watch out, I think she's a guy

I aint quite sure but somethin aint right

Hilary Clinton's comin to town

Donny the Retard had an eight pound water head

He was five-foot three

And he said to me

My name's Donny

The first queer Santa Claus

Wore red-leather chaps

And a pair of white shorty-shorts that had a hole in the back

I pissed my pants

The toilet was just too far

I drunk too much damn beer

I tried to hold it in

But my bladder just gave in

And I pissed right through my drawers

Right through my Wrangler drawers

I pissed, I pissed my Wrangler drawers

Git are dun everybody! Thanks a lot! Come back and see me again Thank you!

Lyrics taken from /lyrics/l/larry_the_cable_guy/twisted_christmas_carols.html

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