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La Dispute – A Letter lyrics

Everybody wants a reason for everything. 
 It's so much easier with
Someone or something to blame. 

 I've always struggled at the
Root of the problem. 
 Has it been absence or my constant lack of

 I've never spent a lot on finding a remedy. I guess
I figured that it hurt for a reason. I guess
 That's why I've always
Turned to writing it down. Not just in stories, but the letters in between.

 And I guess that's why it haunts the pages of everything—to

 I think the thing is that I shut off from
Everything. From friends and family and my own ambitions. From having fun.
I just shut off from everything. Self-defeating? Yeah, probably. But I
Don't know that I had total control over it. And I'm not sure it even
Matters why. Sometimes things Happen and you can't do anything. Plus, I'm
The only one who deals with it anyway. So if everyone could do me a favor
And just put their fingers down I'd—and keep your

 Sorry. I know I seem angry. I'm not, I... I promise. I
Just know I did this to me. And I will deal with it accordingly. And I
Don't need opinions from those never a part of it. Don't need them pointing
Out my problems, they're mine. Don't need reminders I know better than

 And yeah, I know, I should be finding another way. I
Know that I should be out seeking a Substitute. But just forgetting never
Really made sense to me. 

 So I haven't been. 

I feel embarrassed about it? I think you know the answer to that. I think
You'd probably feel a Little bit embarrassed for me, wouldn't you?

 I know I should've moved on ages ago, been happy already, but
It's never been that easy for me. Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.

 I know I've only ever tried a handful of times to sever this
Thing torturing me. It never got me anywhere, with anyone. No friendship or
Hobby, no lover's bed worked. But looking back I Maybe never tried hard
Enough, and it is my fault. 

 Maybe I never tried at all.

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  • u
    The meaning of this song is quite evident from its lyrics. He is saying that everytime there is a problem he knows it's his fault and he doesn't need anyone else to take the blame for things because he's strong enough to deal with them, whether the problems were his or not. He results to writing everything down because he has no other way of dealing with how he feels and as a result he shuts off from everyone, just crawls into his mind where he can sit there with his festering thoughts. When someone points out his flaws he's only upset by that because he knows his problems better than anyone and he's sick of people pretending to know them better than him. Everyone always seems to know what would be better for him. He knows deep down that he needs to let go of the things that have been haunting him but he doesn't know how, he doesn't have a way. Hes embarrassed that these things shadow in his every move and he thinks that maybe he hasn't tried hard enough and that's why he has nothing.
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  • u
    I believe the song is describing his take on life and how dismal it seems, and how he is somewhat apathetic and sorry for himself at the same time. And at the end of the song you find that this was all caused by an ex-lover who he cares greatly for and wishes he would've acted differently to change the end of the relationship that made his life so bitter.
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