Where Have All The Staplers Gone? lyrics
Narrator: And now's it time for Obscure Broadway Show Tunes with Larry. The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings an obscure Broadway show tune. Without further ado, from the unknown musical "Office Supplies," the heart-rending love song, "Where Have All the Staplers Gone?"
Larry: We don't have much time before the big meeting. Petunia: No. No, we don't. Larry: Have you seen the scissors, miss? Petunia: They're in the bottom drawer Larry: I tried that drawer but they're there no more Petunia: That's odd Larry: I know I thought for sure Petunia: Have you seen the masking tape? Larry: It's right next to the phone Petunia: That's what I thought but now's it not I guess I should have known Together: Ohhhh... Where have all the staplers gone? What happened to our paper clips? Petunia: The ballpoint pens are gone again Larry: They're gone again Together: The stick-it pads have lost their stick Do you remember when... Larry: The rubber bands were in their place? Petunia: They're in the middle drawer Rubber Bands: Middle drawer, middle drawer Larry: Light bulbs easy to replace Petunia: Yes! Larry: There were always more Petunia: Reams of paper raining down Paper: Raining, raining down Together: Legal pads a plenty Legal Pads: We're legal Petunia: Highlighters in every hue Larry: I remember! Together: Never less than twenty Ohhhh... Where have all the staplers gone? What happened to our paper clips? Larry: The ballpoint pens are gone again Petunia: They're gone again Together: We've run out of packing slips Petunia: Someday my prints will come Larry: Please replace the toner Petunia: Someday we'll find more of Larry: Our manila folders Petunia: Someday my prints will come Larry: Where's the printer cable? Petunia: Someday we'll find more of Together: Adhesive shipping labels Ohhhh... Where have all the staplers gone? What happened to our paper clips? Paper Clips/Staplers: Paper clips Larry: The ballpoints are gone again Petunia: They're gone again Together: The Sharpies all have flattened tips Where have all the staplers gone? Narrator: This has been Obscure Broadway Show Tunes with Larry. Tune in for act two: Revenge of the Staplers.
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