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Go back [scratch] Go back [scratch]
Go back to ur dorm, an you got ur roommate.. That never werks out. That never
Werks out.. They don't want it to work out. They want it like it's a real world
Episode in ur dorm room. Like I, uh, Like I don't understand like they hav the
Compatibility tests you fill out at the beginning of the year... That's such a
Joke with that test you fill out at the beginning of the year. It's like "Umm I
Like rock and roll. I like stayin up late, and I love the ladies! Oh yeah oh
Hoo" "Okay we got the perfect room mate for you. He'z an opera major, he'z an
Arptileptic, an he'z gay so go fight each other. We got four camera angles.
That'll be perfect, welcome to college, go screw urself. " "huh? " "Yeah, that's
What we say here, go ahead. " Then u think urslef, "Okay I got it beat, I got it
Beat, my buddy from high skool's comn up, hez gonna be my room mate, it's gonna
Be awesum. " No, that is never awesum. It doesn't work out. No it doesn't. Hate
To tell ya, you will fight each other, you will jes get, you will get, I'll tell ya
Why one of is 'cause they have too much dirt on you. You'are friend from home has too
Much dirt on you, they'll kill you they'll crush you in an argument for no reason.
Like you jes say "hey man, uh, these dishes hav been in the sink for like 2 weeks
Man, an their ur dishes, are you gonna clean em or what? " Yeah remember when you had
Crabs in 6 grade? [audience laughter] I fair to bring up my crabs?



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