It was christmas eve, I was standin’ in the parking lotOf fabulous girls, nude - nude - nudeIn the car next to me there was a young lady givin’ a blow-jobTo a man in a santa claus suitHis beard was crooked, his hat askewEmbarrassed, I turned to goWhen from the back seat of that mazda I heard somebody shout oh baby, don’tStopAnd a merry ho-ho-hoWhen I walked inside, I ordered a beer and a double shot of whiskAnd in three minutes I had fallen in loveThe dj announced ladies and gentlemen, from forth worth, texas: lady godivaAnd I sat and worshipped ’neath the angel aboveAt the end of her set she brushed her hairCame and sat on the stool to my rightAnd said will you buy me a drink? My heart beats fast, my trousers grew tightAnd wittily I replied uhhh....She showed me a picture of her kidSaid during the day she’s an art studentShe dances six nights a week for slobs and idiots like thisOf course, present company excluded.On donner, on dancer, on comet, on blitzenI’m lost in the valley of the supervixensWorshippin’ at the feet of the goddess aboveI’m a pilgrim in the temple of love, ma, just a pilgrim in the templeOf loveWell then santa came stumblin’ in, and somebody shoutedHey santa, where’s your elves? He sat down on the stool to my leftAnd the bartender took a vodka bottle of the shelfHe asked if mrs. claus had calledTo tell her he worked on the late shift at the mallAnd he was sorry, but he just got throughI turned and I asked him:How’s the kid this year, santa? Beneath his breath he whispered a merry fuck youWell then the owner come over and he was a short gfat ugly guyWith a funny kind of pushed-in faceHe shook my hand and said it was the first timeThey’d ever had a real superstar in this placeLady godiva bought me a few drinksAnd words came out of my mouthWhat they were, I couldn’t guessBut it was something about showgirls, lapdancing, motley crueYou can guess the restWell I walked outside, snow was fallingI had some toys to put together - it was christmas timeSanta followed me into the parking lotAnd threw up on the hood of the car next to mineI gave him my handkerchief, pulled out onto the highwayAnd as I sat at the lightI swear I saw a sleigh with a dozen of reindeersPull up out of the parking lot and cut across the mallAnd a voice shouted merry christmas to all you assholesAnd to all a good fucking night!
.