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time I go to dinner Seems
like I'm getting a little bit thinner I'll.
sit down at the breakfast table I.
can talk well, they're not able When.
I look at them I find There's.
a single question on their mind I.

wish it could go back to the way it was It's
not easy now because My...

whole family thinks I'm gay I,
guess it's always been that way Maybe.
it's 'cause of the way that I walk Makes
them think I like boys... That.

I like boys The.

goddamn question just won't go away And.
I get asked every single day But.
the way they ask it is not a disguise Like,
"How, was your day Do? you like to kiss guys "?This

is the worst Baby,
this was my fear Now.
their opinions are crystal clear Because.

whole family now is shocked I'm.
in the closet and, the door is locked Now.
my glory days are gone I
was John Elway now, I'm Elton John My.

whole now suspects Watching
Spongebob had side-effects I'm.
not gay and that's what I said If
I'm gay hey God, strike, me dead (cough cough, cough), That's.

weird Just.

because I go to a all guys school Doesn't
mean justin timberlake makes me druel When

I go outside what, do I see That?
the clouds in the sky spell F-A-G Because.

think that God might think I'm gay What.
does He know anyway My?
grandma gave me a present just last year And,
the card said "Happy, Birthday Queer, "!My

whole family thinks I'm fab There's.
a guy's butt hey Bo, take, a stab Why.
doesn't he get women There's?
no other way It's.
'cause I'm lanky not, 'cause I'm gay alright, Not?

'cause I'm gay Just.

'cause I'm afraid of the snow Or.
my favorite color is the rain(Bo)w that... was a joke I.
don't mean to yell but, I fear I must 'Cause.
I'm losing the people that I thought I could trust Because.

my boyfriend thinks I'm gay Mother... fucker You!

all probably think I'm gay Man...
this song is counter-productive La.
la la la la la Because...

whole family thinks I'm gay What.
do they know anyway You?
gotta look right through the haze Easy-Bake.
Oven was just a phase My.

whole family thinks I'm queer That.
is all I ever hear But.
I've been as straight as a ramp If,
you don't count Bible camp Bible.

camp I'm.

not gay I swear

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  • q
    quietguy_jldNov 29, 2009 at 5:32 am
    This must surely be Bo Burnham's masterpiece. He wrote it at age 16 and has been changing the lyrics ever since. The version presented above is his last revision to date. Only in this one has he changed the phrase "even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay...I'm kidding" to "even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay...Mother fucker!"

    What makes this song so good is that it really does mean something--unlike his raps which are just clever word associations with certain literary elements thrown in. In "My Whole Family," Bo accurately--if humourously--describes the world of a gay boy who discovers that he is now too old to dodge the ULTIMATE QUESTION! And note this: whether Bo Burnham himself is gay or not, the boy in the song most certainly is. (Or God strike him dead! Ha-ha!)

    I was a boy like the one Bo describes, and I've known plenty of others. I hope Bo writes more songs like this--pieces that describe a real part of the human condition. If he does, he will stand in the company of Jacques Brel, Charles Aznavour, and the masters of French Chanson. Go Bo!

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