"
I try to keep an eye open
And I realize I haven't closed my eyes in a long time
The character has not made introspection in a long time. He hasn't paused for one second to see what is going on with his emotion, when you take a look at what is going on inside you do it with your eyes closed. The next part talks about the consequences:
"Neglected emotions lead to catastrophic voyage on the other side"
Since he neglected his emotions, a catastrophic death comes from this. It is possible the character committed suicide or had any other kind of nasty death.