Ever since I discovered that God truly does exist, He has been a very important part of my life. But being a godly man has not always been as important to me. I understood its importance, but I struggled to live up to what I knew to be true. I have always struggled especially hard against pornography. But I’ve also struggled to control my thought life, especially when it comes to remembering God is right there watching me. Every so often, something would happen that would remind me very clearly that He is keeping close tabs on me. At this point in my life, I had discovered cable TV had soft porn on it if you knew where to look. I couldn’t sleep at night, because I knew that was when it could be found, and I could watch it as my wife slept. The guilt I had from watching it, repeatedly, had caused me to act like Adam and try to hide from God. Where I had once enjoyed conversing almost freely with God, I now found I had a deaf ear. I couldn’t discern His voice no matter what I tried. I was concerned I had once again opened the door to the sexual demons I had gotten rid of earlier. It didn’t help matters that the church we had been attending for about three years was starting to turn against us. They were all smiles when we were around them, but many of them were talking about us behind our backs. That made it difficult to trust them with my inner conflicts. I felt God had something special for my life, but I could never get it together long enough to step into whatever it was He had planned for me. I had opportunities. The woman I married was part owner of a Christian record company. My best man was an international music evangelist. What was I? A refrigerator repairman who was a failure at his own business. It seemed sinning was the only thing I was efficient at. One day, my wife was coming up the stairway from the basement and into the kitchen. To her left was a blank wall where I hadn’t yet got around to installing kitchen cabinets. As she passed the wall, she saw what looked like a hand writing something. It really upset her in the first place because it was happening at all, and in the second place because she couldn’t read what was being written. She immediately came into the living room where I was sitting and doing nothing, told me about it, and yelled at me for probably being the cause of it happening. She stormed out of the house just to get away from it all, and I decided I had to do something to get my head turned around in a godly direction. I remembered I had recorded some Christian music videos on the VCR and decided I needed to immerse myself in some praise and worship music. The very first song I heard literally dropped me to my knees. It was a song by Bryan Duncan called “Talk To Me Gently” and started: Father I’m a wayward son, caught between the right and the wrong. Nursing a heartache. Seeing everything but the writing on the wall. When I heard the words about writing on the wall, I knew I needed to pay attention to the rest of the song. It spoke to all that I was going through, and how the only way out was to be able to hear Gods voice again. It reminded me that He had seen everything I had done, which was quite embarrassing and humbling. I took the lyrics to heat, and in not too long of time I had turned things around and was hearing His voice again.