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Bo Burnham – New Math lyrics

So here's a song that takes something that's not so fun, math, and makes it offensive.

What's a pirate minus the ship?
Just a creative homeless guy

And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant?
An ironic way to die

And what's domain, domain, range (xxy)?
A kid with too much in his pants

And two balls minus one?
Seven titles at the Tour de France

Split a decision with long division,
Take the circumference of your circumcision
Live like your data and when you're all "set"
Put it all together and whatever you get

It's new math...

What's a bag of chips divided by five,
Well that's a Nike workers' meal

And Santa clause multiplied by "I"?
Well I guess that makes him real

And the square root of the nba?
Is Africa in a box

How do you trace a scatter plot?
Give the pencil to Michael J Fox

Take the approximate moral proportion
Of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion
Live like your data, and when you're all "set"
Put it all together and whatever you get...

It's new, it's new, it's new, it's new...
It's new math.

And if you made a factor tree
Of the factors that caused my girl to leave me
You'd have a tree...
Full of Asian porn.

See al, see you later (C-A-L-C-you-Lator)
Mathematical minds make industrial smog.
And what's the opposite of ln(x) (natural logarithm)
Duraflame - the unnatural log

Support the farmers with a pro-tractor,
Link Kennedy and Lincoln with a common factor
Live like your data, and when you're all "set"
Put it all together and whatever you get...

Yeah it's new, it's new, it's new, it's new... It's new math.

Word problems!

If there's a fat guy in a pastry shop
With a twenty dollar bill and he's ready to buy,
In order to predict his volume change
You'll need to know the value of pi

And there's a metal train that's a mile long
And at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her,
How long 'til it reaches and kills the driver,
Provided that he's a good conductor

And if ten percent of men are gay
And twenty percent of men are Chinese,
What are the odds that a man chosen at random
Spends his free time at mealtime while on his knees

And if Kim is half as old as Bobby
Who is two years older than twelve year old Tori,
For how many more 30 day months
Will their threesomes be considered statutory... Rape

Because math can be s***

Cause having s** is like quadratic expansion
If it can't be split then it's time to stop,
And having s** is like doing fractions,
It's improper for the larger one to be on top

And having s** is like math homework,
I do it best when I'm alone in my bed.
And squaring numbers are just like women,
If they're under thirteen just do them in your head...

It's new math

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Corrected byblob4ever


  • u
    Xxy does not necessarily make a person have ambiguous genitalia (being hermaphroditic) the extra chrom. Is down syndrome and klienfelters but these can cause ambiguous genit. Also a circumcision removes the skin or hood of a p**** not the end of it. What kind of operation did you have? The word problems are fairly obvious. As are the s*** ones. Lance armstrong has one ball and won the tour de france. Michael j has parkinsons meaning he is shaky. The nba thing is obvious as well, try multiplying. A factor tree is simple
    any other answers you need?
    Add your reply
  • u
    He says c(see)-a(eh)-l(ell), see (c) you (u) later (lator).
    And as far as the statuatory rape laws, there are several factors. For instance, a person who is over the age of eighteen can't date a minor or at least (depending on state) not one under the age of 17 or 16. Also, there is law, which also varies, that will not allow two minors with a large age gap be with eachother either. A 9 year old for instance can't be with a 16 year old even though they are both minors.
    Add your reply
  • b
    Dude. Rx. Seriously. Calm the freak down. Its just a song. These days rap is all about shooting people and rock is sometimes about scuicide and depression. Just because bo's songs cover alot in one doesn't mean he's making fun of them. Stand up comedians make people laugh at this. Are you against comedy? So maybe you should look at comedy period instead of cutting down bo burnhams music. Retard.
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