Floyd The Barber (KAOS-FM Radio Apr 87) lyrics

Bell On Door Ring (Clang), Come On In
Floyd observes my hairy chin
Sit down in the chair don't be afraid
Steaming hot towel on my face
I was shaved
I was shamed
I was shaved
Barney ties me to the chair
I can't see I'm really scared
Floyd breathes hard, I hear a zip
Pee-Pee pressed against my lips
I was shaved
I was shamed
I was shaved
I sense others in the room
Opie, Aunt Bea I presume
They take turns and cut me up
I die smothered in Aunt Bee's muff...
I was shamed
I was shamed
I was shaved