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I'm William the Conqueror
My enemies stood no chance
They call me the first English king
Although I come from France

1066, the Doomsday book
I gave to history
So fat on death my body burst
But enough about me

To help remember all your kings
I've come up with this song
A simple rhyming ditty
For you all to sing along

Oh, William
(Bit short init? We need more kings. Who came next?)

William second, cheeks were red
Killed out hunting, so it's said
I took over, Henry one
That's my next eldest son

Then King Stephen, it's true check it!
Hi, Henry two, killed Thomas Beckett
Richard Lionheart? That's right!
Always spoiling for a fight

Oh King John, what a disaster
Rule restrained by Magna Carta

William, William, Henry, Stephen
Henry, Richard, John, oi!
Time for my mate, King Henry eight
To take up this song

Henry three built the abbey
Ed one hated Scots
A red hot poker killed Ed two
That must have hurt him lots

Edward third was a chivalry nerd
Began the hundred years war
Then Richard two was king aged ten
Then Henry, yes one more

King Henry four, plots galore
Not least from Henry five, why?
Killed ten score at Agincourt
Then Henry six arrived

Edward four, Edward five
Richard the third, he's bad
'Cause he fought wars with Henry seventh
First Tudor and my dad

So Henry eight, I was great
Six wives, two were beheaded
Edward the sixth came next, but he died young
And so my dreaded
Daughter Mary ruled, so scary
Then along came... me
I'm Liz the first, I had no kids
So Tudors RIP

William, William, Henry, Stephen
Henry, Richard, John, oi!
Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two
Then three more Henrys join our song
Edward, Edward, Rich the third
Henry, Henry, Ed again
Mary one, good Queen Bess
That's me, time for more men

James six of Scotland next
Is English James the first he led
Then Stuarts ruled, so Charles the first
The one who lost his head

No monarchy until came me
Charles two, I liked to party
King Jimmy two was scary, woooh
Then Mary was a smarty

She ruled with Bill, their shoes were filled
By sourpuss Queen Anne Gloria
And so from then, you were ruled by men
Till along came me Victoria

William, William, Henry, Stephen
Henry, Richard, John, oi!
Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two
Then three more Henrys join our song
Edward, Edward, Rich the third
Henry, Henry, Ed again
Mary one, good Queen Bess
Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then
Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria
Still to come, it's Queen Victoria

And so began the Hanover gang
George one and George two (grim)
Then George the third was quite absurd
Till I replaced old him

King George the fourth and known henceforth
As angry, fat and cross (hang on)
It's true you beat Napoleon
But were mostly a dead loss (bang on)

Old William four was a sailor (ahoy)
It's nearly the end of the story-a
As onto the scene comes the best loved queen
Hail to Queen Victoria

William, William, Henry, Stephen
Henry, Richard, John, oi!
Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two
Then three more Henrys join our song
Edward, Edward, Rich the third
Henry, Henry, Ed again
Mary one, good Queen Bess
Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then
Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria
George, George, George, George
Will, Victoria
Victoria Victoria Victoria

(I ruled for sixty four years, you know.)

Ed seven, George five
Then Ed, George sixth
Liz two then reigned and how
And so our famous monarch song
Is brought right up to now, oh

William, William, Henry, Stephen
Henry, Richard, John, oi!
Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two
Then three more Henrys join our song
Edward, Edward, Rich the third
Henry, Henry, Ed again
Mary one, good Queen Bess
Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then
Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria
George, George, George, George
Will, Victoria
Edward, George, Edward, George six
And Queen Liz two completes the mix

That's all the English kings and queens
Since William first that there have been



Lyrics taken from http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/h/horrible_histories/kings_and_queens_ruthless_rulers_song.html

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  • U
    +4
    UnregisteredOct 21, 2013 at 8:33 am
    Hello! This song is amazing! My friend kept singing it at school so now i have got it stuck in my head, i don't know it all yet but i do know the first bit. I saw it on horrible histories lol. Anyways i was wondering who invented 'horrible histories? ' well who ever did i am really glad they did because your right we don't get all of these things taught to is at school. The cast are ridonculusly hilarious!!! Also the fact that they are giving there time to teach kids facts is really nice. When singing the facts in songs we actually remember it because it get stuck in your head so you don't forget it. It was really funny because my friend and i were saying how funny it would be if you were on million dollar minute to win it and the last question was... "what were all the names of the english kings and queens? " that would be awesome!!! Only thanks to you guys though, i would say that on tv a huge thanks to you guys and tell everyone who's watching to watch your show and that you never know you could end up a million eire. Anyways thank for having the show and i was wondering if you could please tell us some information about william shakespeare because i am learning about him and are very interested.

    Kind regards,
    dj lover333
  • U
    +2
    UnregisteredJul 27, 2012 at 10:40 am
    Love the song big hh fan watch all the eps
    But i have to say i liked the old ones better then the new ones
  • U
    +2
    UnregisteredJun 15, 2012 at 6:59 pm
    I love this show.
    And this song.
    And the cast.
    I'm obsessed. I'm a horrible historian. It's almost a problem (not quite).
    And i have this whole song memorized and i'm not even british.
    I'm nineteen, by the way, since we're comparing ages...
  • U
    +2
    UnregisteredMay 18, 2012 at 2:06 pm
    I'm 20 this year. I know this song off by heart and watch horrible histories before i go out on fridays! Horrible historians unite!!!
  • U
    +1
    UnregisteredMay 18, 2012 at 3:18 pm
    You do know you dontnhave to be a baby to watch hh im 9 i watch it my dad is 39 he loves it so what we can like what we want so i think it is goog a 20 yr old is watching it because it helps elder people (im not saying your old)who dont know about history very well now know about it and its good when your like doing about er kings and queens in history this song helps you learn im learning about boudicca and here song helped me its getting kids to want to learn about history in a fun and silly way better than writing it in a school book and allowed to sing abouth history i am so glad they made hh i would not no about kings and queens in a day at school i would take atleast a month so thanks to terry dearry for making hh love caitlin

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