Paintball's Coming Home lyrics by Half Man Half Biscuit

They've got the whole world in their house,
They've got the whole wide world in their house,
They've got the whole world in their house,
To see the new conservatory
They didn't choose their cat,
The cat chose them,
They didn't choose their cat,
The cat chose them,
They didn't choose their cat,
The cat chose them,
And what do you know,
Its got it's own website,
They made some real good friends,
On Henman hill,
They made some real good friends,
On Henman hill,
They made some good friends,
On Henman hill,
Now they all meet up for boxercise,
They buy soup in cartons,
Not in tins,
They buy soup in cartons,
Not in tins,
They buy soup in cartons,
Not in tins,
And keep a torch in the back of the car,
They go to one-day cricket,
In fancy dress,
They go to one-day cricket,
In fancy dress,
They go to one-day cricket,
In fancy dress,
And choose the pub that's got the ball pond for the kids,
They treat the mercury music,
Prize win-or,
They treat the mercury music,
Prize win-or,
They treat the mercury music,
Prize win-or,
Obviously that's just jealousy on my part,
They seem to think,
It's a really good idea
They seem to think,
It's a really good idea
They seem to think,
It's a really good idea
To hire a stretch limosine,
He gets over emontional,
When he's drunk,
He gets all too emotional,
When he's drunk,
He gets over emontional,
When he's drunk,
And says,
"I tell you what mate, that baby changed me life",
If I'd have known they were coming, I'd have slashed me wrists