Sitting in my house, and I know that I'm alona,
Feeling kinda horny, got a jingle in my bona.
Go and grab a Penthouse it's the one with Sharon Stona.
I go a little faster and it's feeling kind of nicea,
Once ain't enough so I have to do it twicea.
If you wanna spank the monkey I can give you good advicea.
I use some baby oil or a little Vaselina,
Laying down a towel so I keep my carpet cleana.
Never shake my hand cause you don't know where it's beena
I do it in the car when I'm driving down the streeta,
One hand on the wheel and the other's on my meata.
I can't get out the car cause I'm sticking to the seata.
Since I was a kid I have been a Masturbata,
Choke the chicken, hum the knob, squeezing the tomata.
I've looked at Ms. November now I'n gonna decorate her.
Buffing the banana, Mr. Lizard shaking bacona,
Pounding on the flounder and it's mayonnaise I'm makinga.
Spank the frank, wax the carrot, god my hand is achinga.
Lyrics taken from http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/adam_sandler/masturbata.html