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Tim Hawkins – Things You Don't Say To Your Wife lyrics

Hey honey have you gained some weight in your rear-end?
That dress you wear reminds me of my old girlfriend
And where'd you get those shoes? I think they're pretty lame
Would you stop talking 'cause I'm trying to watch the game

If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life
These are the things you don't say to your wife

I planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday
I didn't ask you 'cause I knew it'd be ok
Go make some dinner while I watch this fishing show
I taped it over our old wedding video

If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life
These are the things you don't say to your wife

Your cooking is ok but not like mother makes
The diamond in the ring I bought you is a fake
Your eyes look puffy dear, are you feeling ill?
Happy anniversary I bought you a treadmill

If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life
These are the things you don't say to your wife
If your a man who doesn't want to get killed with a knife
These are the things you don't say to your wife



Lyrics taken from http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/tim_hawkins/things_you_dont_say_to_your_wife.html

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    This is really just a funny song that he wrote about things you don't want to say to your wife. For example, saying things like 'have you gained some weight in your rear end' and 'i bought you a treadmill' is like insulting her weight. And then things like the "I planned a hunting trip on your birthday" and "I taped it over our old wedding video" and "the diamond in the ring I gave you is a fake" and "would you stop talking 'cause I'm trying to watch the game" suggests that these things are more important than your wife. No wife wants to be compared to the old girlfriend in anything but a "you're so much better than her" way. And then the "those shoes are pretty lame' is like 'where did you get those socks, the baby department?" It's just insulting. It doesn't matter if her cooking isn't as good as mother makes or that her eyes are puffy, keep it to yourself! You know, like... "if you're a man who doesn't want to get killed with a knife, these are the things you don't say to your wife". If I had a husband like that... well.
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