Hardly lyrics

I am a memory,
I never existed
And now I am nothing.

Her name, a single word
Melts me, takes me to the ground.
Only alive, can't she see
I'm destroyed by yesterdays.

And do I gain?
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/shai_hulud/hardly.html ]
I could only Dream
For chance to side with me,
Inquire, ingest, implode.
Let this not be the disassemblance of me.
Another night with arms still empty.

I'm destroyed.

And do I gain?
Or just fall.