Rodney Carrington – Carlos lyrics
I gotta tell you this too,you know,I'm a short fucker,you know,like I said,I gotta,I work purely off personality.I aint got a problem with it.If I was tall I'd probably be stupid,I'm just guessing,I don't know.
But you tall fuckers got it good when it comes to walking in the bedroom,just dropping your drawers."Oh my god what the fu-"You know.We,Us short fuckers gotta be creative.I came up with something.Put on a wig,and talk with an accent.I brought my wig with me,I'd like to share it with you:
Hello my name is Carlos.
I want to make love to you.
I want you to get on the bed,and take off your panties,do as i say.
Hurry girlfriend,right now,okay.
Then I want you to pretend that your feet hate each other,do as i say.
Heh,you drunk fuckers'll try to use that line tonight.Every one of you will fuck it up too "Get up dere on the bed and pretend your feet stink.Well I can't remember what he sed just get your panties off!!I want a lil pootie poo."
One of you girls tonight will be lucky enough to have your hiney spanked by Carlos.Who will it be?
Who will be my sexy girl?I will find you sexy girl and you will come.And when you come you will come again,who will it be?
Who will be my sexy girl?I want my sexy girl right now,where is she?
I like you,right there,hiding behind your boyfriend.
Come to Carlos.
Look at you!
I like you sexy girl where did you get that dress?Right now I tell you.
I tell-Here's what's going to happen.
I will spank your hiney,like this.
You will really like this-Don't fight it,do as i say!
We will have fun.
Come to Carlos,right now.Bend over this chair,do as i say.Bend over!
(hoh)Man!Over-achiever,I love her!Oh wai-I li-oh-It's okay,I play,I play,she attack me,you saw,okay.
Ummm,when you bend over,I would like to do a little trick.
I would like to make my weiner dissapear,okay?
No no,no no,it's okay,it's okay,it's okay,it will reappear.
And then dissapear again,really fast,it's o-Aye!I play!She attack me,you saw,okay.
She can't keep her hands off me,look at that,okay.Crazy.
I tell you what,you don't want to do that,I tell you what.Lay on Carlos.
Come,lay on Carlos!It's fun,come to-Come!Bouncy ride,bouncy ride,come on.Lay on Carlos!Okay,okay,okay.Sometimes it does not work.
A woman needs a little romance,I will give it to her.I tell you what.Get on your chair,just like this,it's okay.Give me that,I tell you what,give me that water,right there.Here,I'll give you a little something,make you,put you in the mood.This is,uh,this is horny juice.It'll make you very horny,be careful.Taste.You are horny,huh?Ahaha.I will be horny with you.I will be a little more horny than you.
Oh,he wants to be horny too.
We will have a threesome!
Jesus Christ Vah!!!Ahahahahaha
I like you.You will fall in love before it's over,don't fight it.You are horny right now.I tell you what I will do,I will sing to you:
As I walk on to the stage,
Tonight I turn another page,
Another nitch up in my cup,
I will sit down in your lap,
Look at you you turn me o-oon,
I squeeze your boobs when we're alo-oone
I am caught up in your trap...
I hope she don't give me the clap
Thanks for coming out,Good Night!
Lyrics taken from http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/r/rodney_carrington/carlos.html