(Spoken) It's frightfully difficult to be a lady.
There's so many P's and Q's you have to mind.
(Sung) But the rewards, I'm sure you'll find, are rich and varied,
And worth all of the effort, you will find.
Your posture must be perfect,
Your diction crisp and clear
Your speaking voice mellifluous and pleasing to the ear,
Your legs are crossed when seated
Your toes are pointed so
Your pinkies raise while drinking
But that's not all you need to know...
(Tune changes to a heavier punk sound)
You mustn't curse or spit or tattle, never gossip
A lady never scratches, sweats, or burps
She knows which knife and fork and spoon to use and when
And if soup is served it's impolite to slurp
It's always "please and thank you, sir or madam"
Never brash or loud or putting on a show
A lady is demure, reserved and proper
And that is really all you need to know
Lyrics taken from http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/p/phineas_and_ferb/how_to_be_a_lady.html