The Laughing Gnome lyrics

I was walking down the high streetWhen I heard footsteps behind meAnd there was a little old man (hello)In scarlet and grey, shuffling away (laughter)Well he trotted back to my houseAnd he sat beside the telly (oaah..)With his tiny hands on his tummyChuckling away, laughing all day (laughter)Oh, I ought to report you to the gnome office(gnome office)Yes(hahahahaha)Ha ha ha, hee hee heeI’m a laughing gnome and you don’t catch meHa ha ha, hee hee heeI’m a laughing gnome and you can’t catch meSaid the laughing gnomeWell I gave him roasted toadstools and a glass of dandelion wine (burp, pardon)Then I put him on a train to eastbourneCarried his bag and gave him a fag(haven’t you got a light boy? )Here, where do you come from? (gnome-man’s land, hahihihi)Oh, really? In the morning when I woke upHe was sitting on the edge of my bedWith his brother whose name was fredHe’d bought him along to sing me a songRight, let’s hear itHere, what’s that clicking noise? (that’s fred, he’s a metrognome, haha)Ha ha ha, hee hee heeI’m a laughing gnome and you don’t catch meHa ha ha, hee hee heeI’m a laughing gnome and you can’t catch me(own up, I’m a gnome, ain’t I right, haha)Haven’t you got an ’ome to go to? (no, we’re gnomads)Didn’t they teach you to get your hair cut at school? you look like a rolling gnome.(no, not at the london school of ecognomics)Now they’re staying up the chimneyAnd we’re living on caviar and honey (hooray!)Cause they’re earning me lots of moneyWriting comedy prose for radio showsIt’s the-er (what? )It’s the gnome service of courseHa ha ha, hee hee heeI’m a laughing gnome and you don’t catch meHa ha ha, oh, dear me(ha ha ha, hee hee heeI’m a laughing gnome and you can’t catch meHa ha ha, hee hee heeI’m a laughing gnome and you can’t catch me)(one more time, yeah)
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