Downer Of A Sister lyrics

Wake up, we probably should talk a little, Jacob
Why? Because there's been a major shake up
Light the lamp they keep on the table
Yeah, you married me instead of Rachel
You want me to
Wear a veil and never put the shades up?
You want me to
Try to starve and find a way to shape up?
You want me to
Drive to Egypt get myself a facial?
You want me to?

Oh, I don't think you trust in my shelf-life as your new bride
I tried but Rachel's the perfect size!
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/apologetix/downer_of_a_sister.html ]
Wake up, Laban, you're in trouble this is Jacob
Open the door or it'll break up
Why'd you give me Leah 'stead of Rachel
Yeah you know she ain't no Charlie's Angel
(You wanted to)
Even if she puts on lots of make-up
(Put fun into)
Leah's face could scare away your hiccups
(My honeymoon)
I've seen better faces on a bagel
(I'll punish you)

Why don't we discuss this nice?
Downsize your foolish pride
Why fight? I gave you the first in line
And I threw in a concubine
All right -- for Rachel just serve me twice

Father! Father! Father! Father!
Father it's to intense; I can't stand to hear it
Father you knew the plan -- Why did you give Jacob me?
In disguise so secretly? Is there no escape for me?
It's my heart you're breakin', please no!
Brushed aside -- Now I'm just doin' time
I cry while Jacob diversifies
Can't lie -- she's such a cutie pie
Why try -- when Rachel's the perfect bride