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Meaning
The person can't find what they want in the relationship, and it breaks their heart to figure that out. The love isn't what he wanted or thought it was at the start. This person would rather have his lover hide what he doesn't like to salvage the love, because things have gotten to be so surfacely fake already. He would go back to her if he only knew how he could be happy with her and if she'd actually take him back. He's stuck between a rock and a hard place.
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