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you can have your phone and eat it too
This refers to the cliche "you can't have your cake and eat it, too" which means that you can't have two good things at the same time. The cliche has often been turned around: "you can have your cake and eat it, too", meaning you can have two good things at the same time which are normally impossible to have at the same time.
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a grandma phone
This refers to a gramophone, an old fashioned record player.

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