Dan Reynolds trying to express regret and showing apology. But all trouble he went through was sort of bound to happen and was his fate, the way he is destined to be. From "
From the second I was born and since I had a loaded gun" conveying that the gun is ready to fire, and when it fires he can't control it, shooting and destroying everything he loved. What he had back then, was in the past and can no longer be restored because of fate that's why he wishes what he had taken for granted.
