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I starred in every high school play
Blew every drama teacher away
Graduated first in my class at Juilliard
Took every acting workshop I could
And I dreamed of Hollywood
While I read my Uta Hagen and studied the Bard

Hit the boards and paid my dues
And got phenomenal rave reviews
I knew the world was gonna love me, without a doubt
I was sure that Tarantino would be callin' me on the phone
Annie Leibovitz would shoot me for Rolling Stone
But the years have come and gone
And I'm sorry to say that's not the way that it's all worked out

I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
Skipper Dan is the name
And I'm doin' 34 shows every day
And every time it's the same
Look at those hippos, they're wigglin' their ears
Just like they've done for the last 50 years
Now I'm laughin' at my own jokes but I'm cryin' inside
'Cause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride

Oh, the critics, they used to say
I was the new Olivier
Thought I'd be the toast of Sundance or maybe Cannes
Aw, but don't bother tryin' to IMDb me
The only place you might possibly see me
Is ridin' my little boat around Adventureland
It ain't exactly what I planned

But I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
Skipper Dan is the name
And I'm doin' 34 shows every day
And every time it's the same
I would've killed if I'd been in "Speed The Plow"
But what's the difference, that's all behind me now
'Cause I'm payin' the rent and I'm swallowin' my pride
And I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride

I should be there on Broadway
Knockin' 'em dead in "12 Angry Men"
But instead I'm here tellin' these lame jokes
Again and again and again and again and again and again and again

Bengal Tigers can jump over 20 feet!
That's an African bull elephant...
And there it is, the backside of water!
What have I done with my life!

I shoulda listened when my grandfather said
"Why don't you major in business instead?"
Now my hopes have all vanished and my dreams have all died
And I'll probably work forever as a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
Skipper Dan is the name
And I'm doin' 34 shows every day
And every time it's the same
Look at those hippos, they're wigglin' their ears
Somebody shoot me 'cause I'm bored to tears
Always said I'd be famous... I guess that I lied
'Cause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride
I'm still workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride



Lyrics taken from http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/w/weird_al_yankovic/skipper_dan.html

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    KnuffolinoJul 28, 2011 at 6:29 am
    Wow, now THAT'S one depressing song, isn't it? I mean, haven't we all felt this way from time to time? That we COULD have been a famous actor or an ingenious painter or a great musician or whatever... but here we are, working at a job we hate just to pay the rent, with no perspective whatsoever that this treadmill is ever going to change for the better. "Somebody shoot me 'cause I'm bored to tears" - yes, that about sums it up... and I wouldn't be overly surprised if "Skipper Dan" was only a Jungle Cruise ride or two away from going postal there in Adventureland...

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