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Weird Al Yankovic – Canadian Idiot lyrics

Don't want to be a Canadian Idiot
Don't wanna be some beer swillin' hockey nut
And do I look like some frostbitten hose-head?
I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed

They all live on donuts and moose meat
And they leave the house without packin' heat
Never even bring their guns to the mall
And you know what else is too funny?
Their stupid Monopoly money
Can't take 'em seriously at all

Well maple syrup and snow's what they export
They treat curling just like it's a real sport
They think their silly accent is so cute
Can't understand a thing they're talkin' a boot

Sure they got their national health care
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air
Then again well they got Celine Dion
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni
And dream of drivin' a Zamboni
All over Saskatchewan

Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot
We'll figure out their temperature in Celcius
See the map, they're hoverin' right over us
Tell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervous

Always hear the same kind of story
Break their nose and they'll just say "soory"
Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite?
It's gotta mean they're all up to somethin'
So quick, before they see it comin'
Time for a pre-emptive strike!

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Corrected bypoopants


  • Sonicgogirl
    This song is hilarious! Don't take it so personally. If you do, you're hypocrites. The song American Idiot, yes, I do find it offensive. But that song, It doesn't seem like they're trying to be funny. This song is solely for humor. And that's what I think it is!
    I like the line "See the map, they're hovering right over us. Tell ya the truth, it makes me kinda nervous". And I like everything after that! But the whole song makes me rofl! This is truly a humorous song! Love it!
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  • RobotGoggles
    Being a quarter Canadian (my grandmother on my dad's side), I personally found this song to be extremely hilarious and good-natured. Of course, I am an American, born and raised, and I've heard plenty of jokes on Canadians, but the point is not to be offensive. And besides, if you do make fun of Canadians in any shape or form, they'll thank you and offer you a drink of their beer. They're just a bunch of simple-natured, calm and gentle folk up north that we down here love to poke fun at down here. And they, in turn, have many jokes about Americans. In general, it's just well known that America and Canada are the best of friends, and so talking trash to them is really a playful punch in the shoulder between siblings. Weird Al effectively wrote a masterful piece of music that captures the well-natured jokes made toward Canadians. At the end of the song, it is shown that the narrator actually believes these things, as he calls for America to make a "preemptive strike" against Canadians, but again, from the stance of the satire and comedy, it's still all in good fun.
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