Songwriters: Linnell, John S.; Flansburgh, John C.
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing
He asks a girl if they can both sit in a chair but he doesnt't't get nervous
Shes not really there
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing
Tour the world in a heavy metal band
But they run out of gas
The plane can never land
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing
What's the sense in ever thinking about the tomb
When you're much too busy returning to the womb?
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing
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