Add Explanation
Add Meaning
$album_name
$date_release
$writer_name
New! Read & write lyrics explanations
  • Highlight lyrics and explain them to earn Karma points.
The Frantics – Last Will And Temperment lyrics

Last Will And Temperament
By The Frantics
Available on Frantic Times, cbc Records lm484, 1984
Executor: As the executor of Mr. Muldoon's estate, I have been empowered to read Mr. Muldoon's Last Will And Testament.

Hedge: Well, get on with it, the bars open soon.

Jenny: Oh, poor, dear Arthur! Waaaa!

Hank: Oh, there, there, Jenny.

Ralston: God, how predictably boring.

Mrs. Mulroy: I never worked for a kinder man.

Executor: If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the reading.

Ralston: I knew it.

Hedge: Heh heh heh heh.

Executor: "I, Arthur Durham Muldoon, being of sound mind and body..."

Hedge: That's a laugh!

Executor: "... do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows. To my overly emotional sister, Jenny..."

Jenny: Waaaa!

Hank: Jenny, darling, he's talking about us.

Jenny: Oh.

Executor: "... who grubbed with her husband, Hank, grubbed for everything they could get from me, and then cried crocodile tears when I needed sympathy..."

Jenny: What?

Executor: "... To Jenny, I leave a boot to the head."

Jenny: A what?

*Bonk! *

Jenny: Ow!

Hank: Jenny, are you okay?

Executor: "... and another boot to her wimpy husband, Hank."

*Bonk! *

Hank: Ow!

Hedge: Hahahahaha...

Jenny: This is an outrage!

Executor: "... ah, but still, you are my sister, you have both admired my Rolls Royce, and since I no longer need it..."

Jenny: Oh, dear Arthur, he's too kind!

Hank: Yes.

Executor: "... I bequeath another boot to the head."

Jenny: What?

*Bonk! *

Jenny: Ow!

Hedge: Hahahaha...

Executor: "And one more for the wimp."

*Bonk! *

Hank: Ow!

Executor: "Next, to my alcoholic brother..."

Hedge: Hey, I don't want no boot to the head!

Executor: "... to dear Hedge, who has never worked a day in his drunken life..."

Hedge: I'm coverin' up my head!

Executor: "... I leave my wine cellar and three crates of my finest whiskey."

Hedge: Really?

Executor: "And a boot to the head."

*Bonk! *

Hedge: oh!

Executor: "And another for Jenny and the wimp."

*Bonk! *

Jenny: Oh!

*Bonk! *

Hank: Ow!

Executor: "Next, to my know-it-all nephew, Ralston..."

Ralston: This is so predictable...

Executor: "... I leave a boot to the head."

*Bonk! *

Ralston: Uh! I knew it.

Executor: "And one for Jenny and the wimp."

*Bonk! *

Jenny: Ah!

*Bonk! *

Hank: oh!

Executor: "This takes care of family obligations. And now, to Mrs. Mulroy..."

Mrs. Mulroy: Oh, uh, I don't want nothin'.

Executor: "... who took care of me faithfully these many, many years, who cared, made me laugh, brought me tea..."

Mrs. Mulroy: Oh, I didn't mind.

Executor: "To Mrs. Mulroy, I bequeath a boot to the head."

*Bonk! *

Mrs. Mulroy: oh!

Executor: "And one for Jenny and the wimp."

*Bonk! *

Jenny: ah!

*Bonk! *

Hank: oh!

Executor: "And so, to my cat Mittens, I leave my entire vast... boot to the head!"

*Bonk! *

*Meow! *

Executor: "And finally, to my lawyer, who has helped me on this will, I leave not a boot to the head... but a rabid Tasmanian devil, to be placed in his trousers!" Ooohhh! Oh, huh huh huh huh, and, and, "... and I leave my entire estate of million to the people of Calgary so they can afford to move somewhere decent!" Huh.

Hank: Is that it?

Ralston: That's it?

Hedge: That's disgraceful.

Executor: There's one last thing for everyone.

Hedge: Cover your heads, everybody!

Executor: "I leave everyone a lifetime supply of ice cream."

Hank: Ice cream?

Hedge: Ice cream?

Ralston: Ice cream, that's all?

Executor: That's all.

Mrs. Mulroy: Well, what flavor is it?

Executor: Boot to the head!

*Bonk! * *Bonk! * *Bonk! * *Bonk! *

All: ow!



Lyrics taken from http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/the_frantics/last_will_and_temperment.html

  • Email
  • Correct
Submitted bycharcotfoot

songmeanings

      Write about your feelings and thoughts

      Know what this song is about? Does it mean anything special hidden between the lines to you? Share your meaning with community, make it interesting and valuable. Make sure you've read our simple tips.
      U
      Min 50 words
      Not bad
      Good
      Awesome!
      This page is missing some information about the song. Please expand it to include this information. You can help by uploading artist's image, adding song structure elements, writing song meaning or creating lyrics explanation.

      Featuredlyrics

      Explain

      [an error occurred while processing the directive]