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Why did monkeys use my mouth as a toilet
And then decide to wipe with my hand?
Whys my big brain giving birth to a baby
And it's crying and kicking in my head?
That's the last time I get drunk.
That's the last time I get wasted.
That's the last time I have sex with someone I don't know.
Yeah, but I can see my life is fucked.
Yeah, but I can see my life is wasted.
Yeah, but I can see the bars are open so lets get another round.
Why did someone shave my head
And write dork in magic marker all over my face?
Whos that couple in my bed?
They hooked up last night, there's condoms all over the place.
That's the last time I wake up in someone elses clothes.
Where did I loose my cell phone?
Who stole all of my cologne?
Why the hell do I smell just like a bowling alley?
Is this the best that it gets?
Gentlemen please place your bets.
Ill be laid in my grave before Im only 43.

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