Buy My Friggin Album Bitch! lyrics

* send corrections to the typist

[Verse 1]
Buy my CD or I'll break your fuckin' head
I got 15 hundred copies in boxes under my bed
Heard what I said, buy it, shit at least try it
This shit is dope as fuck don't make me pull your ears with pliers
Ain't no one buyin' my album it should've been platinum
At least gold, the kids don't buy my shit I'm gonna crack'em
My idea street promotion is drivin' through places
And peggin' promo tapes at peoples faces sayin' "buy it you homo"
A promo, what? you want free shit
You better pay up, I'll even take food stamps kid
If you ain't got a job, man it's cool you can rob
Still from your old man, cuz he's a fat drunken slob
And ya mom, she's blown in lonely Ville for 20
So just tell that smelly hoe you need some money buddy
I go to the stores that are selling LP's
Tell'em move some fuckin' units or I'll break your friggin knees
Emcees don't even wanna battle me now
My put my lyrics up because I started knockin' bitches out
Interrupt rock sets from alternative bands
I snatch the mic and start beatin' till it's hurtin' my hands
Then I kick my wicked flows until the cops are called
I'll throw a bar stool and start a bar room brawl
As I run out the door, just before I jet
Don't forget to buy my album on CD or cassette

[Chorus]
I'm a dope emcee but a shitty self promoter
I'll sign a contract for a hoagie and soda
I'ma use force like as if my name was Yoda
Buy my shit quick man just do what I told ya
Can't work for a living gotta eat off this
Plus I gotta crib, and a wife, and a kid
I'ma shove in your face till you purchase it
Just buy my friggin album bitch!

[Verse 2]
Don't be a cheap fuck it's just 11.99
And it's worth it, I ain't sayin' that because it's mine
If it's whack, don't even think you'll get your money back
You and your boys can make fun of it, yo I like it when you crack
Take a bat, and use the thing for batting practice man smash it
I don't give a fuck man fuckin' bash it you can have it
I really don't care man just purchase the shit
I really don't feel like havin' to hurt you bitch
But I will, so find a way to cop my shit quick
Before I find you first, and beat 'cha fat ass wit a stick
Go on Carson Daily's show and request my video
"You ain't got one" I know, just fuckin' do it yo
The radio don't play me and I got no distribution
Ima walk into Land Speed and just start shootin'
I can't sell cds even in my own city
Ima change my name to Q stiggy and start actin' jiggy
I got promo posters as wall paper in my crib
And I wonder why no one's ever heard of my shit
If I went out and promoted I could probably sell a record
But instead I'll just sit and scratch myself, hey yo check it

[Chorus]

If you don't go out and buy my cd
I'm gonna fuckin' kick your ass
I ain't even playin' wit 'chu
I am literally gonna knock you the fuck out
If you don't go out and buy the shit
Just fuckin' buy it man
You can afford it
What the fuck is wrong wit 'chu?
It's a fuckin' dope album man just pick it up
What 'chu mean you never heard of me?
It doesn't matter if you never heard of me
I'm fuckin' tellin' you now just buy the shit, what?