Capsize, tired eyes Collapse into clean sheets, Martinized By bored friends' mothers who feed to release Their trust in kids and adult defeats Home fries ain't no surprise Been about 17 since I realized That no dashboard's gonna stop this chin If I take the wheel in the state I'm in So one cheese steak and a Tastycake Before I stop by Sears, get them to fix my breaks All that Mopar, cement, snow, and rebar And I just don't know how the roads are No ballgame on a snow day But you're gonna see something crazy anyway: Bud Dwyer's 3-5-7, the press And another 10 ways to increase your debt Hey, what are you gonna do When the credit card people come looking for you? Blame it on the Governor, I'm from PA Please bill me at a later date You can send it to me in Pennsylvania Recalls and Armor All I swear I can see Mumia straight from the Mall Because the Camp Hill Prison doesn't hide its prize And down in Philly a whole block's on fire Guess they're trying to get rid of them all Turned on the TV, can't believe what I saw: PBS, Zapatistas, the FARC? No, it's 6200 Cobbs Creek Park!
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