Forgive Me lyrics

I've never seen so clearly
Cause I was focused on all the wrong things
And then [?] inside of me
Cause I was drowning in this deep dark sea
Of guilt and shame and self regret
I thank the lord that I'm not dead yet
I like to sing and whiskey,
But my body is tired and I'm over it,

It's time for me to be
The best that I can be
Things won't stay the same
'Cause I need to make this change
I'm content and I'm finally letting go
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/h/hot_rod_circuit/forgive_me.html ]
My baby left me with a heartache,
With empty hands and a feeling I can't shake.
I'm such a [?] can't see the sinking ship,
I shake and do [?] as I abandon it
Wish all get up to the summer playing
It lasted longer than I ever could have dreamed
I prey to lord my soul to take,
And beg forgiveness as I run towards the burning gates

It's time for me to be
The best that I can be
Things won't stay the same
'Cause I need to make this change
I'm content and I'm finally letting go

When I couldn't be
What you wanted me to be
Needed a change
But couldn't find the words to say
[?]
If it was meant to be we'll have to wait and see