Half Man Half Biscuit – Every Time A Bell Rings lyrics

[Verse 1]
Ground Control to Monty Don,
The testimonial silver’s gone
The circumstance here’s pretty thin
The sun comes out when I go in.
On the way home from spinning class she pops into the deli for artisan gossip
He stays in the car leafing through a high end coffee bean catalogue
Their dream is to open up a roasterie in the Keswick area.

[Chorus]
Get your hedge cut; get your fuckin’ hedge cut
Get your hedge cut; get your fuckin’ hedge cut
Start meeting friends, and cut your hedge.

[Verse 2]
Why can’t you say “orang-utan?”
Why can’t you just say “Ku-Klux-Klan?”
Who needs the library or the pub
When we’ve got your creative hub?
He got a Boardman bike on the “Cycle-To-Work” scheme, discovered he really enjoyed it;
Started watching the Tour-De-France highlights on itv 4
Worshipped at the altar of Wiggo and Froome-dog; goes out every Sunday in full Sky replica kit.

[Chorus]
Get your hedge cut, get your fuckin’ hedge cut
Get your hedge cut, get your fuckin’ hedge cut
Stop analysing Strava, and cut your hedge.

[Verse 3]
“It’s a wonderful Life”; it’s a wonderful film
Tho’ the more I watch it the more I want Potter to succeed
Not least when that lot up the road come out in to the street every New Year’s Eve
Drunk on Ptolemy’s hock, hugging each other and going’ “hee-haw, hee-haw”.
Every time a bell rings, I hate you some more
Every time a bell rings, I hate you some more
Every time a bell rings, I hate you some more
Every time a bell rings.