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Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)Mark volman (vocals)Howard kaylan (vocals)Jim pons (bass, vocals)Don preston (keyboards, electronics)Ian underwood (keyboards, alto saxophone)Aynsley dunbar (drums)Once upon a timeWay back a long time ago,When the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate thanMark bolmanOh, thank you frankAnd don’t misspell it,That’s not marc bolanThat’s mark volmanHiya friendsI wanna welcome each and everyone of youI wanna say to you tonightI feel greatI mean, I feel greatEverywhere I go people are always comin’ up to meAnd they say mark, mark, markMark are you kiddin’Lemme tell you this friends:I am not kiddin’I mean, I am portly and I am maroonWell, how many people here tonight can guess what I am? AaaahI can’t guess what you areWell, then I’ll give you some cluesAnd the first clue isI am portlyDoes that help? Not muchNo, I don’t know who you areOkay, I got oneClue number two:I am double knitDoes that help? No, not muchWhaddya mean? Well, then I’ve to give you one more clueI know this is gonna give it awayAnd I hate like damn to tell you thisBut clue number three:Ich bin maroon!Ahhhhhhhh you’re a sofa!Once upon a timeWay back a long time ago,When the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate thanMark volman ...Thank you, frank... trying to convince each and every memberOf this extremely hip audience here tonight,That he was nothing more, nothing lessThan a fat maroon sofa,Suspended in the midst of a great emptinessA light shined down from heaven (* twinkling sounds *)And there he was ladies and gentleman, the good lordAnd he took, he took a look at the sofa,And he said to himselfQuite an attractive sofaThis sofa could be commercialWith a few more margaritas and the right companyHowever, I digressWhat this sofa needs said the big ’g’Is a bit of flooring underneath of itAnd so in order to make this construction project possible,He summoned the assistance of the celestial corp of engineers,And, by means of a cute little song in the german language(which is the way he talks whenever it’s heavy business)The good lord went something like this:(take it away jim pons!)Gib zu mir etwas fussbodenbelagUnter diesen fetten fliessenden sofaEverybody!Gib zu mir etwas fussbodenbelagUnter diesen fetten fliessenden sofaAnd of course ladies and gentlemen that means:Give unto me a bit of flooring under this fat floating sofaAnd sure enough boards of oak appeared throughout the emptinessAs far as vision permits,Stretching all the way from belfast to bogner regisAnd the lord put aside his huge cigarAnd proceeded to deliver unto the charming maroonish sofaThe bulk of his messageWith the assistance of a small electric clarinetAnd it went something like this...Take it away jim pons!Gib zu mir etwas fussbodenbelagUnter diesen fetten fliessenden sofaEverybody!Gib zu mir etwas fussbodenbelagUnter diesen fetten fliessenden sofaAnd of course ladies and gentlemen, that means:Give unto me a bit of flooring under this fat floating sofaAnd sure enough boards of oak appeared throughout the emptiness as far as vision permits, stretching all the way from belfast to bagner regious and the lord put aside his huge cigar and proceeded to deliver unto the charming maroonish sofa the bulk of his message with the assistance of a small electric clarinet and he went something like... this:



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