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[Eminem]
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopin her ass worse than before
They first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
[*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*]
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

[Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)]

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?

[Eminem]
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
With his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

[Chorus 4X]

[Eminem]
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up



Lyrics taken from http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/e/eminem/the_real_slim_shady_lyrics.html

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  • rainetastic27
    +1
    rainetastic27Sep 10, 2011 at 8:45 pm
    how many times has this song got stuck in my head you ask? Well, i stopped counting at 300. I love this song, i dont know what the meaning is but i really dont care. And if you like this song (which, you probably should) then watch the video :)
  • vballer616
    +1
    vballer616Apr 7, 2011 at 1:54 pm
    i've had this song stuck in my freakin head for the last hour but thats ok cuz i fuckin love it!!!
  • vballer616
    0
    vballer616Nov 28, 2011 at 9:23 pm
    Just went on here and looked at the comments and im like i don't remember commenting on this song... Then again that was almost 8 months ago. I mean, someone could almost have a baby between my comments (almost, not quite).
  • angelallison94
    0
    angelallison94May 14, 2009 at 4:35 pm
    Man me and da friends love this song if any of yall put up wit dem men lookin up ur skirts u jus got ur self an appointment hehe :>

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