Rock Vocal Power lyrics

{Spoken}
Hello, and welcome to the instructional audio series of...
ROCK VOCAL POWER! SHOOOOUT!
With this easy to use, step-by-step audio program,
You too will be able to sing like the pros.
Here, you will learn all of the current
Trendy vocal techniques used by virtually
All of today's chart-busters.
I'm sure you're thinking...
"How can I learn to sing like
One of today's rock singers when I can't sing at all?"
Well, it's not so hard with...
ROCK VOCAL POWER!
For just six easy installments of just $69.95,
You'll get one instructional method.
And this method breaks down the techniques
Of today's hot vocalists
So that you can learn at your own pace.
Just listen to these testimonials by satisfied customers.
"When I started as a bar singer playing Pearl Jam covers,
I wasn't quite able to capture the essence
Of a singer's voice, you know? 'Til I bought..."
ROCK VOCAL POWER!
"Now I've sold almost 50 million jillion records worldwide.
And my own original music band. Praise the Lord!"
You too can learn from this amazing series,
How to unlock the vocal treasure chest that awaits inside you.
(Knock on the door)
Who's there? Why, it's golden platinum,
And it too can be yours.
But that's not all.
For no extra charge,
We'll throw in a few extra methods,
Like the pickle-in-mouth technique.
(A sound is heard like a old man trying to sing with a pickle in his mouth.)
The Cookie Monster...
(A sound is heard like the Korn singer making chomping noises.)
And the ever popular "Hey, Look At Me, I Can't Sing, So Run Me Through Me The Computer".
(computer voice) "I can't sing so good."
Just think, with...
ROCK VOCAL POWER!
You'll never have to sound like THIS guy again...
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/butch_walker/rock_vocal_power.html ]