Cornography lyrics

Cornography
(featuring James Burton & the Kung Pao Buckaroos)
Written by Brad Paisley, Frank Rogers and Peter Tilden

The Grand Old Op'ry Theatre proudly presents:
Cornography.
Kung Pao!
Episode two: The continuing adventures of the Kung Pao buckaroos.

The three cowboys needed a place to bed down for the night.
So I suggested the establishment of Miss Kitty May,
(Or she may not).
A former love and a woman of questionable repute.

So they walked into the saloon and asked for Miss Kitty.
And just then, they heard a voice sayin:
"Hi, boys. You lookin' for these."
And the littlest cowboy turned around to see two huge 38s pointed right at his face.
(Jimmy, you can't say that!)
(What? She had huge guns.)
Smith and Wesson revolvers.
Oh boy, were they loaded.

Cornography.

She's aiming them right at us.
(Softer, George, it's more effective.)
She's aiming them right at us.
Everybody duck!
Not you, Jimmy. You stand up normal.

They dropped the money they owed her, an' she bent over to pick it up,
And, oh, that moon was beautiful.
(Now Jimmy, you can't say that!).
Out the window. I couldn't see it till then George:
There were mountains in the way.

Cornography.

"You guys are gonna get in trouble for this."
That woman sure chaps my.
Ask her out then.
I think he's got a little thing for her, George.
(Louder, Bill, it's more effective.)
I think he's got a little thing for her, George.
It's not THAT little.
(That was worth a three or four, Bill.)
All, right, Jimmy, let's get serious now.

So the little cowboy was tryin' not to act too excited.
But when I look at a woman that beautiful, it's hard.
(Jimmy!!!).
What? It's very difficult.
I hope they're not recordin' this.
Yeah.
Ah.

Cornography.

An' I said: "Little cowgirl, how would you like a little cowpoke?"
"Here we go."
Ooh yeah. Need a little buckaroo?
In your dreams short barrell.
Bum chicka bow wow.
Oh my God.
So the Kung Poo Buck.....
So the Kung Pao Buckaroos rode off into the sunset.

Tune in next time for more action and romance.
Yeah.
(Softer, George, it's more effective.)
Yeah.