Barbra StreisandBarbra Streisand – Folk Monologue lyrics
Can I get my glass of tea? mmm, nothing like it!At this time I would like very much to do a folksong. since folksongs,I think are still popular today. uhm, this one is in latvian and itsFrom latvia. and its about this tahitian girl who uhm, had this lover.And then one day this lover decides that he doesnt like her anymoreAnd likes her sister better. so she decided that the only thing to doNaturally was to kill herself, see. so one day, oh, was very nice outAbout 75 degrees, and she was taking this walk down to the river toDrown when she, she tripped over this rock see. and uhm, oh it wasAwful I mean, she broke her glasses, she scrapped her knees. and uhm,Just at this minute the lover and the sister happen to come by in aTaxicab. so, see they saw her on the floor and she, having anAstigmatism in her left eye, she thought that it was a wild bore. so,She figured oh boy Id better get down to the river fast to drown soShe runs down there and what do you know the river was frozen. so iMean she just stood there you know and she went tchhh, like that. tch,And uhm, because, I mean, she couldnt do it that day. see, it was aSmall town they only had one river, so. anyway than she figured, ohIts getting late, better get home cause her mamma would be worriedAnd would kill her if she was late for supper you know. so, I mean,She gets up and she starts walking around home and she bumps in toThis guy, and what do you know, he turns out to be an optometrist.And just happens to happen to have her suscription. so, anyway, uh? Oh, Im sorry subscription.so anyway, I mean, shes I dont wantYou to think that this is one of those hollywood-like stories: sheGets the glasses and sees happily ever after. I mean, this is, youKnow, no like that. I mean she had to pay for the glasses just likeYou and me, she ... well, oh well, I mean, I dont want you to thinkThat Im lying but she did get about a dollar fifty off, dollarSixty-five? so anyway, uhm... this guy (oh) turned out to be veryNice and he even told her where she could find another river.So, Ill tell you the truth, this girl was a real creep. I mean,You know who would wanna sing a song about her? I mean, her sisterWas really much nicer. and uhm, I mean, i, I think she came fromA better family.[singing]Call me a boobCall me a schlemielCall me a brain with a missing wheelCall me what you willBut nonetheless Im stillIn love with harold mingertIts not because he has a carArnie fleisher has a carAnd a car is just a carBut if harold didnt have a car too his nameI guess Id love him just the sameCall me what you willBut nonetheless Im stillIn love with harold mingertAnd its not because he has a wealthy familyArnie fleischer has a wealthy familyBut money isnt everythingAnd if harold didnt have a car too his nameI know Id love him just the sameBut sometimes I ask myself why thanDo I than love harold mingertHarold isnt handsome or clever or smartAnd I dont find romance and a dance in his heartThe only answers I can think aboutHarold mingerts money and harold mingerts carCall me what you willBut non the less Im stillIn love with harold mingertAlso arnie fleisher!
Lyrics taken from http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/barbra_streisand/folk_monologue.html