This Grudge lyrics

Fourteen years, thirty minutes, fifteen seconds,
I've held this grudge
Eleven songs, four full journals, thoughts of punishments
I've expanded
Not in contact, not unmet
Such communication, telepathic
You've been vilified
Used as fodder
You deserve a piece of every record.

But who's it hurting now?
Who's the one that's stuck?
Who's it torturing now?
With an empty knot in her stomach.

I wanna be big and let go
This grudge that's grown old
All this time I've not known
How to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
Clean state and released.
I wanna forgive for the both of us

I come abandoned house
Dusty cupboard, furniture stll intact
If I visit it now
Will I simply relieve it
Somehow, into it us.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/alanis_morissette/this_grudge.html ]
But who's still waking now?
Who's tired of her own voice?
Who's weighing down with no gift from time of said healing?

I wanna be big and let go
This grudge that's grown old
All this time I've not known
How to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
Clean state and released.
I wanna forgive for the both of us

Maybe as I cut the cord
Veils will lift from my eyes
Maybe as I lay this to rest
This weight of my shoulders will rise

Here I sit much determined
Ever real equipped to draw this curtain
How this has entertained, validated and has served me well
Ever the victim

But who's done whining now?
Who's ready to put down?
This load I carried longer than I had cared to remember

I wanna be big and let go
This grudge that's grown old
All this time I've not known
How to rest this bygone
I wanna be sof