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Indeed I have sucked it up to heights
Unknown to those outside
My body has contained and suppressed
And swallowed and abetted
Oh I am a stranger to myself
Beneath altruism dwells
A force uncontended
A voice that is tempered
To boiled and unhindered

Who am I kidding?
I am not some Mother there'sa
If I don't say something soon
I will break from the weight of the high road I take

Indeed I need my chance to fail
Some room to unravel
I need a chance to blame for two minutes
Unbridled, unbrazened
So I need imaginings of maiming
Fantasies of outright screaming
I need a chance to thrash for minutes
Uncontained, unforgiving

Who am I kidding?
I am not some Mother there'sa
If I don't do something soon
I will die from restraint
As a sick subjugate

I will move beyond, I'm certain of that
The sooner I go the quicker I'll be back
I would not threaten or cause you any harm
Have to get this out or my light will go out

Who am I kidding?
I am not some Mother there'sa
If I don't do something soon
I will die from restraint
As a sick subjugate

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  • U
    UnregisteredMay 21, 2012 at 1:25 am
    Alanis writes at a level of consciousness that can stand apart from her thoughts, feelings, "mind," cultural conditionings, etc. So she can see her false selves =and= her deeply embedded, =actual= emotions, identifications and motives. That part of her consciousness struggles here (in the song; not actually in real life i'm pretty sure) to fully accept her "lower" and "higher" natures. (most people who can see like this do not "struggle" very much, or for very long if and when they do. )

    This is just one of many songs in which she witnesses her own lower levels of consciousness wrestling with the conflicting values pretty much all of us have but aren't aware of. And it why, i expect, those who understand such struggles follow her around like gawky little goslings after their more adept and competent mother goose.
  • g
    globesessoins98Jul 18, 2009 at 10:19 pm
    Masterpiece of a song. At some point or another we all have or will all have a moment, or be in a cirsumstance where we feel we will break if we don't get away. This song reminds me of my girlfriend & her situation at home.

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